How was your weekend? I was on a fabulous exclusive weekend retreat holiday to which none of you were invited, while you were all sweating away wishing you were me. Don’t give up on life yet, because I have something SUPER SPECIAL!! From the deepest Nantes on Ghetto Street follow me into the private kitchen of Chef Pascal LeBrain who presents a very special summer holiday recipe for you all to try at home.


A very glamorous and sophisticated dish.”


  • FRESH salmon – best if you buy this with Eva at the fish market fresh that morning and ride a bike to get it and get some flowers afterwards.
  • 2 lemons, juiced
  • 2 limes, juiced
  • dill, chopped
  • olive oil
  • salt
  • pepper

1. Get a 2 inchish deep dish with a flat bottom CERAMIC OR GLASS not metal and cover the bottom of it with oil, a quarter of the lemon juice, a sprinkle of dill and seasoning.

2. Cut the salmon into the thinnest slices as you can possibly imagine. Unfortunately, we were too busy talking to remember about the grain of the fish straight away. We did work on that shortly after this exclusive video was shot.

3. Make a layer of fish in the prepared dish. Don’t overlap the fish too much.

4. Cover the fish in a little more oil, lemon or lime juice, a sprinkling of dill and seasoning.

5. Cut another gang of fine fish slices in the opposite direction to how Pascal does it in the video – cut towards the tail – and layer it in the dish.

6. Repeat step 4 and 5 until you run out of fish to cut.

7. Leave for a few hours covered in the fridge.

8. Have a little  amuse bouche made by Eva as a special treat that turns out to be BOUDIN [blood sausage] and banana and have a huge conversation about the first time you got your period, how your mother humiliated you with [lack of] sex education, buying a bra, having sex with your period etc.

9. Drink home made Caipirinhas in the meantime and get pretty drunk. Dancing around the kitchen in your underpants is not a bad idea either.

10. Get the fish out of the fridge and serve with real French bread.

11. Drink a lot more homemade cocktails

12. End up in the garden in the middle of the night rolling around on the grass and/or singing “Oh L’amour” while dancing having the best time ever.

13. Then do some spiritual garden worshipping after midnight in an amazing dress.

14. Ensure you drink enough to feel really ill the next day when you get woken up at 7am to kiss goodbye a little human on their way to school and when you finally get to IKEA realise you need to have a long sit down and a cheeseburger from Mc Donald’s and  coke wander absent mindedly into the supermarket and buy a kilo of sugar in large grains for making chouquettes, two giant jars of speculoos paste and a tin of white tuna for your cat. Or the equivalent.

And there you have it! Another simple and amazing recipe that you will love – except if you are Mrs Kipling who probably didn’t even make it to the end of this post as she heaves.



From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX]
Sent: 08 June 2010 04:47
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: More food from paris

yeah. But the frog/snail eating poofs DO eat well. What were the two black thing looking like beetroots after the strawbs and rasps?Mind you I certainly rember being put offg frog shiels who smoked ‘Gooloise’ Dark black pubic hair by the looks of it
What deal did you strike with yer ma about the Science Magazine. ? She’s back from Sydney but living with her Sister. Piotto.. It’s a lonely job getting through one’s dying days. It’s called the way of life! Fark.
How’s the Spanish furball, Ferret?Cheers mate. Paris always reminds me of playing my Harmonica up on the CAFES OVERLOOKING THE sIENNE, and collecting ten franc note. Then sleeping on thei paving stones under the Pont Du Nord. Cold and farkin hard. BUT I was young then- abot thirty years I think. Even out in the bush the villages were great. Cheers again you pair of Londo livers. Luv yer Dad, No OTHER BASTARD DOES,xxxxxx

From: John Davidson [mailto:XXCENSOREDXX]
Sent: 10 June 2010 04:26
To: Emma Davidson
Subject: RE: More food from paris

If you had to eat the shite they serve up here, you wouldn’t torture a poor AGED man with such delicious food from Pae=ris. even if they do smell a bit!. luv yer pa and the ferret.