I came here once before on work related issued and saw a woman with ringlets in head to foot Chanel and matching Chanel straw boater. She had a lot of work. Someone told me some gossip about her – like she keeps the Chanel shop in Madrid open or something but I don’t know.

So that is one thing I think about when I think of Ten Con Ten. The other is their Ceviche.

Obviously, Ten Con Ten is pretty chi-chi because you can tell by the mood lighting so we just used camera phones. Def not the place to flash the fuck out of your food. On the other hand, not the kind of place you have to really dress up. Men in pants and a polo shirt acceptable with clean trainers. And obvs if you want to dress up like Chanel lady, DO IT.

The ceviche here was (what was the fish Anthony?) on pumpkin.

Burrata, strawberry, grape and tomato salad. I have made Anthony promise to make this for me. And so ladies night!

Black cod and caramelised apple. Anthony’s choice. He said it was beautifully cooked but found it a little bland after the salad and wished he had chosen something more punchy. But it was an excellent dish.

This was a “hamburger” made up from the most mouthwatering sweet and tender oxtail meat. It kind of disintegrated as soon as you touched it – if you put it in a bun it would be more of a sloppy joe. But the mash of meat, fries and gravy was awesome. Anthony didn’t even want to taste it at first because he said that ox tail meat was the kind of meat you had to eat when you were poor like offal. I will leave him to “flesh that out” in full later. Haha.

Turron ice cream – possibly the world’s greatest ice cream?

Yogurt with lime and honey. Anthony died and went to heaven.

So when it came to make the booking I had my doubts – no-one spoke English and then kept putting the phone down and thought I was making a booking for 10 and not two. Once that was over with, we arrived two nights later to be greeted and shown to our seats. The staff were really friendly and happy to explain the menu – which is also in English. Personally I think it is worth getting the menu in Spanish as well because some dishes likes Iles flottantes are French anyway and sound awful translated on the English menu. Anyway loads of staff spoke English and were happy to let us bumble the few Spanish words we knew.

Our only complaint about the whole evening was the naff pop/dance music they were playing – the restaurant is really beautiful, well lit, cosy in different rooms, waiters all dressed well and the music seems really at odds with the scene. It didnt wreck the night by any means but you probably wouldnt want to propose to someone in there! Or maybe you would? Perhaps there is something I am missing these days.

Also, nice cocktails.